Appropriation + reparations = “approparation”


There will be absolutely no abuse or opportunistic trimming of this latest guilt offering, right?

A suburb of Chicago is set to become the first place in the US to provide reparations to its Black residents for housing through a tax on marijuana sales, with a plan to distribute $10m over the coming decade.

Evanston, which sits on the shores of Lake Michigan north of downtown Chicago, is set for an initial disbursement of about $400,000 for housing needs, with a vote on the issue set to take place at the city council on 22 March.

Sounds great, on paper, if you’re black, no? Free money for all because history was unkind to your ancestors. Sheesh, join the pity party, man. Tell me who hasn’t been wronged, raped, gutted, defiled and trampled by the evil white imperial empire.

Once you let that pretentious butthurt go, you might move forward.

Instead, the evil white man offers a little hush-hush wipe-up-the-tears moolah in order to further enable your cultural helplessness and dependency. I know, many of us know, even you know, but very few will say (with the exception of those creepy misanthropic bloggers) one indomitable fact: this money will do nothing to fix attitudes or remedy lowly situations.

Reparations are the next level of governmentally subsidized despair and complacency whose endgame will only serve to profit consumerist garbage like Nike and Apple.

Worst of all, government hand-outs and condescending pity money exploit the systemic “hacking” that comes from archetypes who have much cleverness about working the system. The more complex and layered the system which the handouts are predicated on, the easier prey they are to amoral sharks.

Under the proposal, residents would get $25,000 to use towards home improvements or mortgage assistance. To qualify, residents must have either been or descended from a Black person who lived in Evanston before 1969 who suffered from discriminatory housing practices by government and banks.

That’s a bit ambiguously vulnerable to line-cutters.

Anything can be faked as we’ve all sorely learned. Don’t forget about Rachel.

That reminds me of the old 80’s joke.

Q: What’s the hardest part of having HIV?
A: Convincing your parents you’re Jamaican

I suppose that might be a bit esoteric if you’re young or weren’t paying attention back then, so you might need to research a joke.


Rachel Dolezal
I want my grievance money

Q: What’s the hardest part of gibs reparations?
A: Convincing the mayor you lived in Evanston in 1965

Perhaps reparations can be scaled according to percentage of African genes in in your genetic profile as measured by DNA testing.

In which case, Rachel might get about 10 cents, which, to borrow upon another old joke, she can use to call someone who cares.

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