I spied this earlier.
In the spirit of today’s commemorative theme, and in the spirit of falling skies, the “Select Committee on the Climate Crisis” issued the following declaration (because, you know, women take care of stuff and because men are useless, so women just need to be super capable and adept):
Women are essential to #SolvingTheClimateCrisis.
If we want to build a more sustainable world, we must continue to empower the women who are leading our communities in the fight for #ClimateAction.
To which I rebut:
Women better fight for #ClimateAction, damnit, they are the reason humankind has destroyed the planet in the first place.
Before I continue, I’d like to make one inarguable stipulation:
Technological evolution is the primary reason for man’s destruction of the global environment.
All technological evolution, avowedly administered by the hands of man throughout the ages, has been allowed to run amok because man seeks, innately, to soothe the whining and complaining inflicted on him by the female species. The female requires an existence insulated from the physical hardships of antiquity. Each generation of woman advances slightly in her ability to hedonistically maximize her luxuriant environment to the fullest extent given the context of her epoch. If not for women and their obsessive hunt for comfort and pleasure and superficialities of diversion, men would continue happily existing in a primitive state where their survival depended on the lowest common denominator of effort. Man would slay beasts for dinner, slay other men for land, food and women.
Man would dictate the environment of acceptance and that bar would be pretty effin low.
Man does not require much. Give him a roof, dinner and a healthy stream of water, cheap diversion, and he is thrilled. He does not require petroleum products to make himself presentable. He does not need to be taxied around comfortably in air-conditioned environments of filtered air and quiet retreat; he doesn’t have the desire to watch fantasy people live exclusive and wealthy lives with all the trappings of extravagance he can only dream of. He either wants that himself, or he doesn’t care. A man’s entertainment is base. He is happy to watch animals slay each other or to watch men engage in brutal sport from the mouth of his cave.
But for woman, he creates artificial gimmickry, has done so for millions of years, an exponential crescendo building to a din that needs to feed the amplified ravings of greedy females who want more than their peers in a rush to have the most, and have the prettiest, and the biggest. Man is wired to respond to female desire, and he continues producing toxic objects that suffocate the planet and its rivers and tar the air with silt; he gets the happy woman and the Earth dies a little with each wish granted.
Women better fix this mess, after all.